How the Narcissist affects us.

How Narcissists Impact Your Emotions, Confidence, and Relationships

Being close to a narcissist is like living on a rollercoaster you never wanted to ride. At first, there’s the thrill the rush of attention, the sense of being chosen (sometimes when we have never been before)the feeling that you’ve finally found someone who truly sees you. But before long, the highs start to vanish, and the dizzying drops take over(drops is an understatement I know 🤦‍♀️)

If you’ve been in a relationship romantic, family, or even professional with a narcissist, you’ll know this cycle all too well. It’s exhausting and draining , confusing, and often leaves scars that linger long after the person is gone.

Let’s break down exactly how narcissists affect your emotional world, your sense of self, and your ability to connect with others.

The Emotional Rollercoaster

At the start, being with a narcissist can feel intoxicating. Sometimes They pour energy into you, shower you with praise, and make you feel like the most important person in the world. This stage is called idealisation, and it’s designed to hook you.

But slowly, things shift. The compliments turn into criticisms. The warmth cools into silence. You find yourself walking on eggshells, never sure which version of them you’ll meet that day.

This unpredictability creates an emotional addiction. You crave the highs so badly that you tolerate the lows, hoping each time that the “old them” will return. Psychologists call this intermittent reinforcement and it’s one of the most powerful ways to keep someone stuck but not us we’re escaping mate!!

The Attack on Your Confidence

One of the most devastating impacts of a narcissist is how they hammer away at your self-worth. They don’t usually do it all at once—it happens in small, almost invisible steps:

• Criticism disguised as “help”: “You’d look better if you lost a bit of weight.”

• Teasing that cuts deep: “You’re so sensitive, can’t you take a joke?”

• Comparisons to others: “Why can’t you be more like them?”

Over time, these jabs sink in. You start to question yourself: “Am I too sensitive? Am I not good enough? Maybe they’re right.”

And once your confidence is shaken, you become easier to control. Because if you don’t believe in your own worth, it’s harder to imagine walking away and If like me you never had self worth then….

The Damage to Your Relationships

Narcissists don’t just impact how you feel about yourself they also affect how you connect with others.

They may:

• Isolate you from friends and family, so you become more dependent on them.

• Triangulate by bringing other people into the dynamic (“So-and-so agrees with me, you’re overreacting”) this is especially awful when it’s your children.

• Create chaos so you’re too drained to invest in healthier connections.

After enough time in this environment, you may find it hard to trust anyone. Even when the narcissist is gone, you might second-guess new partners even your family and doubt your instincts, or fear opening up again.

This is one of the most painful legacies of narcissistic abuse: the way it steals not just your peace, but your ability to feel safe in love.

The Lingering Effects

Even once you’ve broken free from a narcissist, the impact doesn’t vanish overnight. Many survivors describe experiencing:

• Anxiety and hypervigilance—constantly on guard, waiting for the next attack.

• Low self-esteem—hearing the narcissist’s voice in their head long after they’re gone.

• Difficulty trusting—wondering if every new person will turn out the same.

• People-pleasing patterns—bending over backwards to avoid conflict. Some of us already had them and that’s why the narc choose us.

If you see yourself in these, please know: you’re not broken. These are normal responses to abnormal treatment. Healing is possible—and awareness is the first step.

A Story to Illustrate

Imagine you’re at a party with your partner. At first, they’re affectionate, holding your hand, making you feel like the star of the evening. But halfway through, they snap: “Why are you laughing so much with other people? You’re embarrassing me.” Wow this is actually a true story for a few of us I bet!

You shrink. You apologize. The night ends with you feeling guilty, even though you did nothing wrong.

This is how the cycle works. The highs make you cling to them. The lows erode you. Slowly but surely, your sense of self becomes entangled with their approval.

Final Thoughts

The impact of narcissists runs deep. They don’t just hurt your feelings in the moment—they reshape how you see yourself, how you move through the world, and how you trust others.

But here’s the good news: awareness brings healing. Once you understand the patterns, you can begin to untangle yourself from them. You can rebuild your confidence, reconnect with safe people, and learn to trust your own instincts again.

Because you are not the small, broken version of yourself they wanted you to believe in. You are whole. You are worthy. And you are capable of love that doesn’t cost you your peace.