The one about the neurodivergent and the fish 🐠

This is something I wrote for my “fish” and my “humans”.

It’s just an explanation to help me and everyone around me understand that we’re not broken different we are just wired In different ways to one another l.

so disclaimer, I’m not saying one is more human than the other, no way! it’s just a way i find really easy to explain it.

It might help people understand why the non-fish sometimes face a feeling a failure and loss when they can’t understand how to swim.Which sadly sometimes translates and carries throughout their whole life to their detriment until they understand the analogy.

Let me begin- so Imagine a classroom full of students. Most of them are fish—neurotypical fish, swimming effortlessly through lessons and instructions. The teachers are also fish, teaching everyone how to swim, assuming that’s what everyone is.

But some of us are different. We’re humans. We’re sitting in the classroom, trying to keep up, trying to swim like the fish. But no matter how hard we try, it doesn’t come naturally. The lessons don’t translate the same way for us, and slowly, we begin to feel like we’re failing.

It’s not that we’re incapable. It’s that we are being taught to be something we’re not. We’re humans being taught by fish to swim like fish. The system measures our ability by standards that don’t fit our kind of brain.

Recognizing this is freeing. We’re not broken or less intelligent—we’re just different. We can’t swim like the fish, but we can move through the water in our own way, in a way that’s authentic to who we are. And once we stop trying to be fish, we start to thrive—not by their rules, but by our own.

This is what I’m aiming to do with this analogy;

1. It highlights systemic mismatch – It’s not that humans (neurodivergent learners) are less capable, it’s that the system is designed for fish (neurotypical ways of learning). The failure isn’t inherently in the human; it’s in the expectation that everyone should swim the same way.

2. It normalizes difference – Recognizing yourself as a human in a sea of fish reframes “struggling” as simply a natural mismatch, not a personal flaw.

3. It explains the emotional impact – Feeling like a failure isn’t because you’re incapable; it’s because the world is measuring you by standards that don’t fit you.

4. It opens a door to alternative approaches – If you’re a human, maybe the goal isn’t to swim like a fish, but to learn your own way of moving through water — your unique strategies and strengths.